My Conversion Story

Four years ago today I was baptized and confirmed a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, this is my story:) (well, most of it)

Conversion
Conversion comes as a result of righteous efforts to follow the Savior. Although conversion is miraculous and life changing, it is a quiet miracle.

During my senior year of High School, I thought I had everything. I thought that the life I was living was exactly where I needed to be. I never questioned my beliefs and I always judged others for theirs. I knew there was a god, I was angry with him for the cards he dealt me but I knew that it was up to me to make the best of it. I envied others for their devotion to their religion. I was born catholic, baptized catholic, and very proud of it.

I was originally from California so when I moved to Utah it was a bit of a culture shock. I went to Catholic school at first so I really had no idea the Mormon culture’s affect on Utah. I didn’t realize how big of a Mormon population I was living in let alone where the church headquarters were located.

Eventually I was switched over to public school. In Junior High I became close with a group of girls. The older we got, the closer we grew. By the time we were about to graduate high school, we figured out how to schedule our classes together, we were all for working the system. One of the classes happened to be public speaking; all of us girls were in it J

We did very little work and a whole lot of girl talk. During class one day, my best friend brought up how she is breaking things off with her current boyfriend. She said that it all came down to him being catholic. I was furious! What made her think that he’s not good enough to be her boyfriend because she’s catholic and yet me, as catholic, can still be her best friend. I was appalled; all the feelings of negativity came back to me. This Mormon Church brain washes people! They are all so close minded! I can’t believe she’d do that.

I finally broke down and told Natacia of my frustration before class was over. I will never forget her response. “Erin, you don’t understand. I can’t be with him; we don’t have a future together. When you get married, you’ll do it in a church and say, ‘til death do you part’, right?” Well, yeah, doesn’t every body? “No… when I get married, I’m going to be in the temple and be sealed to that person for time and all eternity. I can’t have that with Sean. He doesn’t believe in that. So therefore, there is no point in staying with him.”

I was speechless. I had never thought about that before. I had never even heard of eternal marriage, let only realized that we (Catholics) don’t believe in it. I felt so betrayed by my own beliefs and upset at myself that I didn’t really know what I believed in. I refused to talk to my friends about it any further, I felt so stupid for even asking questions. They had tried to have me come to church before, sent the missionaries to my house, and even gave me DVD’s. In fact, I think I even threw a Book of Mormon away. I was hurt and felt like I had no where to turn.
I went home that night and pulled out a Bible. I couldn’t understand anything so I found my Catholic Children’s Bible and began reading. I felt nothing, and I decided not to care.

A couple months later I was at my close friend’s house. We were in his room talking when I saw his Book of Mormon. It reminded me of what happened with my friend during class so I started asking him questions about the Mormon beliefs. I don’t remember what question it was but he couldn’t answer it so he ran upstairs to ask his parents. I was left all alone with the Book of Mormon at my fingertips. As I picked it up I felt as if I was betraying my family and my beliefs but I couldn’t help myself. I opened it.

I flipped through the book and couldn’t understand a thing. I had no idea what it was or what it was supposed to mean. I figured that the best place to learn about the Book of Mormon was to read the introduction. The first couple paragraphs felt distant. I couldn’t understand a thing I was reading! I got frustrated but knew that I needed to keep going. It wasn’t until I got to the last two paragraphs that I finally felt something. It was as if my mind and heart were opened up and I was prepared to read this excerpt.

“We invite all men everywhere to read the Book of Mormon, to ponder in their hearts the message it contains, and then to ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ if the book is true. Those who pursue this course and ask in faith will gain a testimony of its truth and divinity by the power of the Holy Ghost. (See Moroni 10: 3-5.)

Those who gain this divine witness from the Holy Spirit will also come to know by the same power that Jesus Christ is the Savior of the world, that Joseph Smith is his revelator and prophet in these last days, and that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the Lord’s kingdom once again established on the earth, preparatory to the second coming of the Messiah.”

I did everything I could to hold back but it was inevitable, I broke down into tears. I was so confused. Why am I crying? Why do I feel this right now? What is going on? At that moment, I had no idea the everlasting change it would create on my future.

The weeks that followed were filled with a lot of reading, searching, and praying. I got a hold of the Book of Mormon, Preach my gospel (missionary lessons), True to the faith, and a Bible. I read as much as I could. I was like a sponge, soaking up every bit and piece of information I could about this church and the gospel of Jesus Christ.

It got to the point that I knew I needed to come clean and talk to my friends about the feelings I had been having. By the time I brought it up to them, I knew I needed to get baptized. I felt like a traitor to my family, I didn’t want to disappoint them but I knew what I was doing was right for me and for no one else. I knew that by getting baptized I would be opening my eyes to a new life. A fresh start.

I was scared, so scared, nervous, anxious, happy, excited, and ready. I knew that what was to come of this was not going to be easy at all but I knew it was something I had to do.
During this time in my life, my friends meant everything to me. They and their families were so loving and open to welcoming me into the gospel. I was invited to do the lessons in their home, met with the missionaries, and learned about who I really am. The first time I met with the missionaries, I told them that it was unnecessary to go through the lessons because I had already read them. I wanted to get baptized August 13th and invited them in case they wanted to go.

A LOT happened in the months to come and I’d rather not go into detail over the blog. I felt an outpouring of love from my heavenly father, friends, and their families. I was truly being blessed in so many ways but I had my fair share of trials, too. August 13th, finally came. My baptism was held on a Sunday night.

I got there extra early so I could greet everyone that came in. I was overwhelmed with the support I was receiving. One by one people filed into the chapel. By the time the program was about to start it was entirely filled! I was shocked! I had no idea this many people cared enough for me to come and support me on this monumental night.

The service started and my family was nowhere to be found. I was sad but knew that I couldn’t expect them to come. I saved the front row for them, just in case. The service went amazingly smooth; my friends were involved in the prayers and some talks. All of my favorite hymns were being played and the spirit was so strong. I knew I was exactly where I needed to be.

I wanted to give the first talk so I could tell my conversion story and share my testimony. As I walked up to the pulpit, I look out into the congregation and immediately tears swelled up in my eyes and my heart burned. My family came. They were all seated in the back row ready and willing to support my life changing decision. I broke down in the best way, and I was so grateful for this very special night that they got to share with me.

At the end of my talk I thanked everyone who believed in me and had faith that I would choose this path. Honestly, there were some people that never gave up on me. I am eternally grateful for them. I thanked my family for supporting my decision even though they don’t quite understand it. I thanked my father in heaven for bringing me into his family and surrounding me with angels on earth.

The time came for me to be baptized. I was very nervous but so ready. As I stepped into the warm waters of the baptismal font I felt the spirit confirming my decision. I could feel my heavenly fathers love so strong at that moment. I was wrapped in the arms of a priesthood holder as he said the powerful words baptizing me in to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I laid back into the water and felt the cleansing power of the atonement wash over me.
Coming out of the water, I couldn’t help but burst into tears of joy. The feelings I had were so strong that I could not contain myself. I will never forget the sacredness of that night, I am so grateful that heavenly father allowed me to find this gospel while I am here on earth.

Words cannot express the gratitude I have for those that helped me through my investigating. Natacia- for challenging me from the beginning, Mallory- for continually sharing and showing your strong testimony of this gospel, Kallee and Kelsey- for your example, Braden- for your patience and willingness to teach me, The Tye’s/Hind’s/Love’s/Lance’s- for opening your homes and your hearts to support my decision, and my family- for your unconditional love and support no matter what.

I know that these very special people were placed in my life at that time for a very specific reason. I have no idea what compelled them to continually have faith in me that I would come to know the truth. I don’t know why any of them didn’t give up on me. I don’t know if I ever will. However- I hope that I can show them my gratitude by how I’m living my life now.

So much has happened in the past 4 years. They have been the best but hardest 4 years of my life. Because of this gospel, I have been able to find true happiness. Trials have been thrown my way, hard decisions were made, blessings were given, love was shared, and I was able to go through necessary experiences to help my progression. All in all- I am so happy. I am happier than I’ve ever been and I know that it all stems from my decision just 4 years ago to enter into the baptismal covenants.

Thank you again to all of you that helped me along my way, you know who you areJ I love you all!