35 weeks

Am I really this far along?!

Kate will be here in less than 4 weeks now. We are having a scheduled c-section the morning of March 26th. At my last appointment, the doctor gave me two options: "Do you want to deliver on the 26th or the 27th?" Being that Neal's birthday is the 27th, we went for the 26th birth date for Kate. It was really weird actually picking her birthday. There was so much excitement and anticipation in not knowing when Liam would come, so now it's the weirdest thing knowing EXACTLY when Kate will come. It gives me some peace of mind though knowing how much time we have to prepare, because we have a lot to prepare haha

With moving and everything, I found myself becoming more and more stressed out. I didn't know if it was the move, my hormones, or just the stress of everything. I was becoming more and more emotional and felt myself slipping into depression again. I started having the same feelings I had after Liam was born. With Liam, I wasn't diagnosed with postpartum depression until he was 11 weeks! I was struggling for over 3 months before I sought professional help and got on medication. I knew with Kate, I wanted to be pro-active and get on medication as soon as she came. That was the plan anyway.

The closer I got to my due date the worse I felt. I had so much anxiety, mood swings, crying spells for no reason, and just felt like I had the weight of the world on me and I couldn't handle it anymore. After consulting with Neal and doing a lot of reading, I started to suspect I was getting early onset postpartum depression.

At my next doctors appointment I brought up my concerns to Dr. Ward. He said that at this point, there's no reason to wait on starting my medication. The depression medication is totally safe to be on this late in the pregnancy, Kate is fully formed (just putting on weight now), and it's better to start sooner than later since it takes a couple weeks to kick in. I was SO relieved! A) I'm glad I was diagnosed again so I knew that I wasn't just crazy and B) I was so excited to finally have relief from the feelings I'd been having. I started on the medication right away and now after a couple weeks I definitely feel more stabilized. I'm glad we made the decision to start now instead of after she gets here. I don't want anything to ruin those special moments of preparing for the baby and welcoming her into this world.

The delivery date is now less than 4 weeks away! I'm excited but also very nervous to become a mom to two. I'm trying to soak in as much time with Liam as possible. I'm excited to give him a sibling but I also have feelings of guilt for having to share our love and attention. This parenting thing is crazy :)

The next couple weeks are devoted to getting her nursery set up (not decorated, just set up). I want to at least have it set up so I can organize her clothes and stock up on diapers and wipes. I'm excited to start the preparations and hope it will make me feel even better about her coming so soon. I'm just in shock how fast this pregnancy went! I'm happy it did, but still shocked :)

*Picture to come soon :)